Women with Tattoos

(this scenario is for entertainment purposes only .... most of my friends know that you shouldn't take me too seriously)

Generally speaking, I avoid dating women with tattoos.  Please allow me to explain..

Almost everyone's sense of "normal" has cemented by the age of ten.  When I was ten, only sailors and convicted felons had tattoos -- and women were neither.  So women didn't have tattoos.

Consequently, if a woman has a tattoo, I tend to stare at it.  This leads to tragedy.

Her:  "Well, here we are at your front door."
Me:  "Yes."
Her:  "Did you have anything on your mind?"
Me:  "Yeah, kinda"
Her:  "Oh?  Tell me."
Me:  "Um, I'd like to you inside."
Her:  "Yes."
Me:  "And walk you over to the couch."
Her:  "Yes."
Me:  "And take off your shirt."
Her:  "Yes."
Me:  "And stare at the tattoo on your back for about 2 to 3 hours."
Her:  "What?  And what am I supposed to do?"
Me:  "I dunno.  Read a book ... Watch TV.  Just so long as you don't move around a whole lot."

Then she slaps me and walks away just a little angry.  And I'm left wondering if honesty is really the best policy.